


shades

by rain_at_dawn



Category: MBLAQ, SHINee
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Band Fic, Developing Relationship, Implied Sexual Content, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:33:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27782281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rain_at_dawn/pseuds/rain_at_dawn
Summary: “Yeah, I think about you.”All the time.
Relationships: Lee Changsun | Lee Joon/Lee Jinki | Onew
Comments: 4
Kudos: 6





	shades

**Author's Note:**

> Set around 2013-ish.

Jinki finds some comfort in the present: in the stars above him and the grass beneath them on the Han riverbank. And Changsun.

He focuses on his study of the moment: there is a warm, gentle breeze rustling the leaves of the oak they lie under and the earth around them smells as it should after yesterday’s brief rainfall. And Changsun has been kissing him; and he’ll probably kiss him some more later, given that Jinki, along with the rest of SHINee, will be heading for Japan first thing in the morning. He can still taste the coffee Changsun’s been drinking, hot and bitter on the seam of his lips.

Jinki could’ve had some too; Changsun had offered his own paper cup to him to drink from, though Jinki had just shook his head in response. He was awake enough, the buzz from meeting up like this already a pleasant hum in his system. He could’ve had any choice of drinks before this, but he’d waited for Changsun’s mouth to slide against his instead.

There was a lot more waiting ahead, so the least Jinki can ask of him is a call for later.

He feels Changsun stretch his arm out underneath where Jinki’s head lies tucked inside the crook of his elbow and even though they’re both facing the night sky, Jinki can tell that at least one of them is smiling.

* * *

Outside Jinki’s hotel room window, Tokyo is alight and aglow in neon. When his phone screen lights up, his heart races.

“Hey.”

“Hi,” he replies to Changsun as soon as he hears his voice, thousands of miles away, back in Seoul. “You called.”

“Of course I did. It’s been two days and I miss you already.”

Jinki wonders what the smile on Changsun’s face looks like when he tells him this, whether it’s small and tired after long hours of whatever shoot he’s had scheduled, or if it’s as big and bright as the city lights that dot the skyline, despite everything. If the thought didn’t fill him up, from the deep hollow beneath his ribs and lungs right to the top of his throat, with something that feels dangerously close to need, he would’ve found it comforting.

Instead, it unsettles Jinki enough to hold his phone closer and ask, “Are you at your dorm?”

“No. I’m at my parents’ house. But they’re not here.”

There are many ways Jinki imagines this going, but all of them end the same in his head and it scares him. He’ll let Changsun take the lead, as always.

“Jinki, do you think of me?”

There’s an unguarded tremor that’s crept into Changsun’s voice and it makes Jinki want to shrink back into the dark. Nothing but the light beckons further.

“Yeah, I think about you.”

_All the time._ The past two days have been agony, the one night alone by himself absolute torment. It scares Jinki.

He’d thought about how this could go: they can talk about the good times, let these spark something in their bodies, high on the stolen kisses and the fumbling that had gone down on their own beds in each other’s empty dorms. He can even picture everything: Changsun’s hand reaching past the waistband of his jeans, Changsun’s face framed between his thighs before he grins and goes to work with his mouth on Jinki’s straining erection, Changsun’s breathless groans against Jinki’s neck as he pushes harder and deeper into him, as if he were trying to burrow into Jinki’s chest and make a home out of it.

But he thinks about Changsun outside of these times too; when they complain about their schedules and members to each other over steaming hot beverages, when they laugh about the absurdity of it all, when they talk about everything under the sun, when everything goes quiet under the stars and they’re too exhausted for anything except to hold each other in the dark. He thinks about Changsun’s smile when he thinks Jinki isn’t looking hard enough.

But Jinki has always been watching.

“I think about how you kiss me,” Jinki quietly confesses into the phone, each word torn from his heart. “About… where you touch me.”

It’s not all he thinks of. But it’s a start.

Changsun takes his time for a change. He’s usually so eager and it throws Jinki off.

“You feel so good around me. You know that, right? Jinki-yah?”

Thousands of miles away and Jinki can still feel that hand stroking his face afterwards, sweeping aside the sweaty strands of hair from his forehead so those lips can kiss it.

“Tell me more, hyung. Please.”

“Sure.” There’s a rustling sound on the other end of the line, which Jinki imagines to be a duvet being drawn over them. Just like the last time. “We’ve got all night.”

* * *

It’s Thursday afternoon when SHINee touches base in Incheon after a three-hour flight; it’s Thursday night when Jinki falls apart in a hotel room in Itaewon, right into Changsun’s arms.

“Hey,” is all Changsun says when he wipes away Jinki’s tears with his thumb. “Don’t.”

Changsun smiles and Jinki comes undone. He’s tired and groggy and running on three cups of coffee just to get to this part of his day, the part he always looks forward to.

And he’s failing at it.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He repeats it over and over, his vision blurred. _I missed you, I missed you._

“It’s okay. You’re here and that’s what matters.” Changsun sits Jinki on the edge of the bed and reaches down to take off his shoes. There’s none of the rush of the last few times; a quietness has settled, muting the buzz of caffeine in Jinki’s bloodstream. When Changsun looks back up at him again, Jinki’s heart steadies.

When he wraps his arms around Jinki’s shoulders, leans his forehead against his, and just asks, “Sleep with me?”, Jinki feels a weight lift off both of them.

Changsun kisses him goodnight under the covers and for once, it’s a promise.


End file.
